Archive for the ‘Thought’ Category

Feb 21.09

So they said that music is universal, ah, they are right. Never heard of any Chinese Song before even though I’ve been listening to Korean and Japanese Song all the time. Well, I tried this time, and turned out that he’s amazing.

Oh my dear Khalil Fong

Khalil Fong – Wei Lai


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Wasting TOo Much Time

97064149cr8Sorry, just can’t resist!

You know what I’ve been thinking lately?
I think I have spent too much time on something that is worthless. I’m in my last second year of university but yet I still haven’t studied the things that I want to pursue (I mean, of course, besides my major): Art + Language.

Being an E.S.L students as I am,, I spent my three semesters itself just learning how to speak English. Hell yeah! But I fail to study the language I want to be fluent the most: Korean! Yeah!!!!!
Sigh, the joy of being an E.S.L student! LOL

Two more years to go, I haven’t even touched art class. Yaik! I really want to take those art class. Ok! Ok! I like it! So what?! It’s better to take the things that I like rather than the things that most people take.

Sigh! I think I’m running out of time! Four more semesters! Hope I can take everything that I want.
I still feel that there are a lot of things I really want to do before graduating and working.

credit picture: Soompi Stock Picture Thread

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34pl1cr: Soompi

So, last nite, 6 of my friends and I were having dinner in one of chinese restaurant here. And in a joking tone, one of them asked us ‘how many friends we have in facebook’. Oh well, she precisely knows that all of us are not the popular people who happen to have tons of friends, at least, not in facebook. So, finally, we just started to answer it. I have around 280-ish ‘friends’, while some of my friends were just having 100-ish friends. But I said to her, “Well, back in high school, I really count how many friends I have in friendster, and if it’s less than what my friends have, I start adding it. Now, it don’t really care “.

To my surprise, she answered, “That’s just show how secure you’re. “


She’s right. Well, it turns out that sometimes those 280-ish friends are friends that I’m not really close either. And rather than adding them, having them in facebook, thn contacting them in it, why don’t we just call them or meet with them. Hahaha…

And talking about secure vs insecurity. Oh well, where is my state right now ya? I think my level of security is going down way the hill… Alas,, insecure. And I think that’s the main reason why I start feeling bother hearing who is close to who. Oh Gee! Another 118 topic eh?
“What is people’s feeling about the number of friends in facebook”
I don’t think that’s academic enough.

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n659576556_1176204_2031_elycr: Ely

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. – Abraham Lincoln

Got to find it when I was reading Benjamin Button’s preview in Kompas ePaper today. It was quiet shocking to me but I totally agree with it.

And oh!
One of my favorite scene in Benjamin Buttons: The way Ben Button (Brad Pitt) describes Daisy’s (Cate Blanchett) accident by using supposition. It was simple but yet precise and amazing. Hadn’t Daisy change her clothes for longer time. Hadn’t the taxi driver buy his coffee. Hadn’t a girl answer her phone call. Everything would be totally different. Brilliant eh?
Sometimes, we really think that only if something didn’t go this way, it would have been better.
Oh times…. how we cannot control it.
Had I didn’t say it, we would probably be not in this state.

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Have you ever think to come back to those times when you don’t have to worry about all the things that is happening around you?! Yes! I’m talking about those childhood time! As far as I can recall, when I was little, I really don’t have to worry about being hurt by somebody else, being hate by someone else,s or more hurting other people’s feelings. Our lives were smooth and fun! Without any worries and any fear.

But now, even the slightest movement could bring us hateness! Even the least meaningful word can turn to anger. HOW FRAGILE A RELATIONSHIP IS. As an Indonesian proverb says “Karena nila setitik rusak susu sebelanga”.

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When one is deceived, is cheated, the heart is the one that suffers most. And for one who has been hurt for so long, it is quiet another to forgive the mistake and move on. But when they realize that the world has turned against him once more, they fell apart; this time, completely. Because when the history comes back to them, they think they can control the future by acting in the present. But it turns out the other way; they were wrong. One can hide, but they clearly can’t runaway. And at the time they realize that the consequences are unimaginable, everything was just walked away.

This time, they can’t shout, so they cry harder. They can’t be mad, so their heart is aching. They can’t give in, so their soul is ripped. It is dangerous when what was once happy and beautiful suddenly become tainted. All the wonderful assumptions and relationships was thrown out of the window and burned deep inside the earth.

Mianhae, sorry. You hurt me, but I hurt you even more. You didn’t mean that, but you have put a scar in  my heart, so I just walked away. I put you my trust, but you crossed the line. 7 hours and I washed away my emotion, now you could turn back and un-do the sorry.

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Event though this post won’t have any direct writing about the Beijing Olympiad itself, but after reading a news about it on the newspaper, I became mad at myself. How come, for such a tremendous event like this, there are only two TVs who will broadcast it? TVRI and another paid TV, TV Aora. So, eventually, only TVRI will serve the majority of the people of Indonesia because I bet there is way more people who doesn’t have that TV Aora. Why even RCTI, the usual broadcaster, doesn’t want to subscribe it? There’s only one reason: money.

Tonight, the party will start, but I will be leaving behind by watching it only from TVRI. Not that I don’t like it; instead, I feel very grateful that TVRI are generous enough to broadcast it. But the feeling that this is a huge event, still…

Before, I felt so proud to be Indonesian people, but after I became an international citizen, I started questiong. Wen loves China, Tian loves China. All of my Chinese friends wrote that to show support for China as China become one of the fastest growing country in the world. But, I’m here questioning myself my loyalty to my own country. I’m questioning myself about its future. I’m questioning myself about the direction it will go. Then, I became mad at myself. I mad at myself because there is nothing that I can do. I mad at myself because I felt that I’m stuck in here inside the cage not being able to feel free. I mad at myself because after its 60 years living independently, my country is still unable to fly high. Yes. It has lost to its very own neighbor: Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, and even Vietnam and Philiphine. Then, I became mad at myself again. I don’t think this cycle will ever end. Not until I see my country to be at the point I want it to be, you know what I’m talking about.

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