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Event though this post won’t have any direct writing about the Beijing Olympiad itself, but after reading a news about it on the newspaper, I became mad at myself. How come, for such a tremendous event like this, there are only two TVs who will broadcast it? TVRI and another paid TV, TV Aora. So, eventually, only TVRI will serve the majority of the people of Indonesia because I bet there is way more people who doesn’t have that TV Aora. Why even RCTI, the usual broadcaster, doesn’t want to subscribe it? There’s only one reason: money.

Tonight, the party will start, but I will be leaving behind by watching it only from TVRI. Not that I don’t like it; instead, I feel very grateful that TVRI are generous enough to broadcast it. But the feeling that this is a huge event, still…

Before, I felt so proud to be Indonesian people, but after I became an international citizen, I started questiong. Wen loves China, Tian loves China. All of my Chinese friends wrote that to show support for China as China become one of the fastest growing country in the world. But, I’m here questioning myself my loyalty to my own country. I’m questioning myself about its future. I’m questioning myself about the direction it will go. Then, I became mad at myself. I mad at myself because there is nothing that I can do. I mad at myself because I felt that I’m stuck in here inside the cage not being able to feel free. I mad at myself because after its 60 years living independently, my country is still unable to fly high. Yes. It has lost to its very own neighbor: Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, and even Vietnam and Philiphine. Then, I became mad at myself again. I don’t think this cycle will ever end. Not until I see my country to be at the point I want it to be, you know what I’m talking about.

I.MISS.HIM

I really don’t understand. I miss him. NO. I was so anxious to find out something more from him. I didn’t miss him as if I was fallen in love and hence missed him the way a girl missed his boyfriend. I missed him the way that I was really anxious to find out something more from him, really want to meet him and to talk with him. There were so many questions that I wanted to ask him. So many things that if I eventually met him, I wouldn’t even know where to start. Who the HELL was he judging me like that? Who the HECK was he turning mylife upside down and creating me into the persons as I am today? We barely knew each other for less than a week and but then all of his words had made me realizing what kind of person I was, and it happened three years ago. So, this whole three years, I had been living under his shadow, walking under his show as if I was his puppet. And, right now, he was somewhere out there, unreachable, untouchable, as if he just disappeared from this world and vanished to the ground. Then, how could I meet him? I missed him; I really wanted to talk with him.

I couldn’t remember the exact date when I met him, but I knew it was three years ago when I was on top of the hill, on top of the world. He had known me before I even knew him. He had heard about me even before I met him, before when I realized that he existed in the world. So we met and introduced ourselves each other, and since then, he had been tailing me everywhere I went, everything I did, and whoever I met. It didn’t bother me, oh NO, he was a really nice and polite guy. And, had I known that he could create me into a person as I am now, I would’ve avoided it at all costs. At least I know that it would make my life easier.

“Dooberap,” even though he called my real name, but for this writing, I would just use my pseudo name, “do you trust people other than your mom?” that was his first question, and heck, that hit me on the spot leaving me dumbfounded. I just really wished that he didn’t see my face as I opened my mouth wide creating this O-shaped.

“I..,” I thought it was an easy question but I realized that I actually hadn’t answered that question until now. I just didn’t know the answer; truly, I didn’t want to answer the question either.

He continued, “Actually, I can see it clearly in your eyes. You seem to hang out a lot with your friends, you seem to get easily with people, but deep down, you don’t really want to get close to them. You don’t trust people as you don’t want to share your problems with them. You find it hard to open yourself that is so hard it makes it harder for you as well. Ah, I hope I won’t confuse you.” Oh No! I understood the meaning of his every word and I swallowed it deeply that now it rooted in my heart. So, that’s it! That’s it! I didn’t admit it myself before this, and to be honest, I didn’t even know that until he told me the truth. Since then, I began to to pay attention to the way I acted to others. Ah, crap, he was right. Eversince I was elementery school, I had no single close friends, not close enough for me to just pour all of my thoughts, my worries, and my soul to another person. Maybe it was the wrong thing to ever listen to his word, to ever trust his analysis. How was I supposed to know that right now I am exactly the person he told me once? How was I to know?

It was just our first ‘little’ conversation. There were other ten to twenty conversations for each he bombarded me with these questions leaving me asking myself who I really was. I realized how important our conversations were, so important to the extend that I really hate it. Was I like this? Was I like that? It was all confusing. Are we or are not the results of our own community? My head gets really dizzy and I was feeling so sick. I was nineteen-years-old girl, to old to be in the intersection of finding her true identity, to young to find the meaning of the conversation he brought up. Only if he knew I was looking for him. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to find.

“I’m lost”

“No, you’re not”

“Tell me, why am I here?”

“To meet with me, obviously’

“No, I mean, WHY.AM.I.HERE? In this city?”

“Oh,, to study, right?”

“Then why do I have to study?”

“I dunno, to be a successful woman, maybe? For your future?”

“Do I wanna be a successful person? Am I a successful person?”

“Do you succeed?” he asked back.

“What? I was asking you, now you asked me back?”

“Why are you here?”

“To study,” I answered bluntly.

“Study what?”

“The thing that I like, the thing that I perceive to be my future.”

“What IS your future?”

“I… can’t say,” I mumbled.

“But, do you have it in your mind?”

“Hm…,” I nodded.

“Do you believe what you’re meant to be?”

“Hm…”

“Then you’re succeeded. That’s the reason why you’re here,” He finished his drink and then left.

Only if that was real.

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be”- DBSK

Being a KPop Idol

So, I was looking at this one favourite blog forum, Shenyuepop, and there was a news about the Top 10 Singers To Look Forward To In 10 Years, and I was so surprise that my all time fav. DBSK-Xiah Junsu is only number 7 while the charismatic DBSK-Jae Jong didn’t even on the list.

Mnet! has released another list among the idol world. This time to expressed the idol they believed to have the most star power and potential to last a whole decade.

1. Big Bang Leader G-Dragon (Kwon Ji Yong)

2. Wonder Girls Ahn So Hee

3. Big Bang Tae Yang

4. Big Bang TOP

5. Super Junior Shin Dong (Shin Dong Hee)

6. Big Bang Kang Dae Sung

7. DBSK Xiah (Kim Junsu)

8. SS501 Leader Kim Hyun Joong

9. SNSD Im Yoona

10. Super Junior Choi Si Won

credits:
Mnet!
Nikki@AF.net

OK! I admit it that Big Bang is really awesome, their songs are all stucked in my head, even compared to DBSK. But, DBSK performances are always amazing and more powerful than Big Bang as they always sing while they are dancing. However, I’m not gonna compel who’s better than who, it’s just not worth it. What I’m trying to say in this post is the fact of the way being a kpop idol singer in Korea is so hilarious.

First of fall let’s see the music “condition” in our beloved country, Indonesia. As we notice, our music industry is dominated by male group band with mostly pop singer: Samsons, Nidji, Ungu, Kerispatih, and many more. Even though their songs are good and well-known even to our neighboor country, Malaysia, I just found that their performances are not as powerful as those Korean Idol such as DBSK, Big Bang, or Super Junior.  I don’t know why.

Well, let’s comeback to our kpop fandom heaven. As you might notice from the article above, all the star do really well on singing and dancing. So if you wanna make a new artist in Indonesia who dreams about being a hit idol, here are several suggestion (quiet obvious for those kpop lovers):

1. Find a talented singer at young age, most preferably at age 11-15, don’t accept any above 15 but the younger the better. Talent in singing is a must, but talent in dancing is a PLUS PLUS PLUS, and if they have a georgous look, that’s gonna be a PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS (don’t you notice the Big Bang member are so handsome).

credit: forum@soompi

2. Trained them at least 5 years in singing, dancing, language (English, Japanese, Chinese, etc. English is the most important one, though), and many other aspect of entertainment world. Do you know that DBSK Xiah Junsu has been a trainee for 6 years in SM Entertainment before DBSK debuted? For Cassi, they all know, for general readers, this might be shocking. Yup! Those members in DBSK, Big Bang, Super Junior, Wonder Girls have been trained for more than 5 years under their company. So that’s why there’s no doubt that once they debuted, they all have become one of the most talented singer in kpop world. And don’t get me wrong, those training sometimes are harder and more stricth than school. Because after you go to your regular school, you have go to the company’s academy (either SM, JYP, YG, or many more) to be trained like HELL in dancing, singing, and etc. They sometimes are not allowed to eat or are having a really tight diet in order for them being good while being shoot.

3. Trained check, now it’s the time for debuting. Hm, it’s kinda difficult to comment especially in hard world. But I can give you one suggestion: Make them as appealing as possible: Fashion, Hair, and stuff. And if they can be a trendsetter, that would enhance their music as well.

credit: As tagged + forum@soompi

4. Ah! Not to mention this last stuff about publishing. Don’t you feel wondering as why they are so popular even accross the country? Well, the only one and absolute answer is INTERNET! Yup! INTERNET is the biggest thing here and it is where all the magic happen. All the fans get to know each of the member through the net, all the fans are able to listen and see their perfomance, their MV, thus increasing the idol’s popularity also through internet. YOUTUBE is wonderful, I agree! So, if you want to debut your singer or idol, create a team from your company who act as a “fake” fans and start to post pictures, MV’s, news, and etc on a blog. Don’t forget to create a “fake” id in forum like soompi, asianfanatics, and many more and advertise the idols using the banner or the avatar, but still you have to start reply to topics as for others to be able to see you banner. Hahahahaha,, if people get curious about the idol, then they can visit the blog and judge them! They’re harsh, I warned you!

5. Be ready of fans! If paparazzi is the most hateful thing for celebs in USA, then it’s fan who are chasing after the idols all the time. OMG! They’re just crazy! and I mean it!

Well!

That’s probably just my two cents of my fandom heaven! correct me if i’m mistaken!

Mocca First Album

Mocca First Album

I know it’s a little bit late, but, right now, I’m feeling so proud with one of our “Indonesia” band, Mocca, for which their songs appear on the popular reality show “We Got Married”.

Mocca is an Indonesian music band formed in 1997 in Bandung, Indonesia. The band’s musical style is inspired by the retro sounds of the 70s, with influences of swing, bossanova, Swedish pop and jazz. The band is formed with Arina Ephipania Simangunsong as the lead singer, Riko Prayitno as the guitarist, Ahmad Pratama as the bassist, and Indra Massad as the drumer. I’ve known this band for long time but never happen in my mind that I will like them, but ever since I watched We Got Married, my love for this band is growing and growing.

Their songs are really unique as you will rarely see this kind of genre especially in Indonesia, because the majority of band in Indonesia are full of pop and rock. So, listening to their music is really something in my ears. Here is one of my favourite song from Mocca that also appears in WGM:

Mocca – Me and My Boyfriend

We Got Married ep. 5. Have a look at 5:50 when Alex is teasing with Shin Ae with the leech. OMG this scene is just so hilarious

I’m not quiet sure if any of my Indonesian friends know about it, but we should be really proud of them because is not only one or two songs of Mocca, but I notice that WGM uses a lot of their song for every episode especially for the Alex-Shin Ae scenes (my fav. *^-^*). There are a lot of people accross the countries who also watch WGM, listen to their songs, and like it. I found a lot of praise for their song: “^ One of my fave Mocca song,I was hoping they would use it on the show so when they actually did ..kekeke..I really liked it“, “Great background songs by Mocca..^_^ Alex and Shin Ae are just too cute “.  Phew, I really want to support you guys and really wish you good luck for your hard work!!

Swimming Indo-Blog

Sometimes, the news of K-Entertainment doesn’t go as fast as I expected. In other words, there could be that in a day, there is no single interesting “sentilan”, in my point of view, of course, and if that’s the case, I will get really bored that I feel I really want to do something more useful (Hah!). So today, I finally did! I finally left for a while those useless bump and swimming swimming looking for an interesting Indonesian Blog, for I’ve never read any of those and I feel that I know more about Korean Pop Culture than my own pop culture. Yes! I’m thirsty of those news! Not news about politics or economics because they just make me bored.

However, no matter how hard I tried to google about those blogs with using some weird keyword, I really have to accept that most of Indonesian bloggers write about Technology, IT, Computer, and some about politics, economy, and sarcasm to the government, hardly I found any blog about music or movie. Or, maybe, it’s just that our music and movie quality is not that interesting to be written as a blog. Hm, that makes a lot of sense.

So, in those “useful” times, I’ve found some “interesting” blog that I think is as worth as my fandom blog kpop. Well, the first thing that I found interesting is Komikku, Bukan Komikmu that is basically about a comic blog criticizing the condition of Indonesia, ranging from politics situation, economic, gossip, and many other. I like this blog because their humor is really good and right now I know more about the condition in Indonesia, like what latest news is, and many more.

Komikku Bukan Komikmu

The other blog that I found quiet catchy is Blogombal, but again it’s all about politics and government, so if you are not interested in those kind of things, I suggest you to not read those. For me, it’s just simply to make myself updated.

Wanna hear something about economics? Well, I found one that’s worth to read: Sarapan Ekonomi.

Well, that’s all the blog that I found that is related to non-IT, the rest of it is just blog talking about the IT development, and stuff. But you know what, it’s really interesting that even though I can say that Indonesia is a growing country with a lot of poverty going on, the growth of IT in Indonesia is really enormous!!! Like really really enormous! Hahaha,, a good thing though!

Planet Terasi Direktif

I wonder, there should be an interesting blog talking about music and movie. If you happen to know one of those! Please let me know, I will be happy to hear that!

LMAO.

After swimming in one of my all time fav. blog allkpop.com talking about how VIP (Big Bang Fans) feels upset about their idol group, Big Bang, something interesting came from one of the comment from smileyTart:

“they’re not gonna break up. TT” they have a new album coming out next month well mini and in october and full length album.

Seung ri dances the best there

i don’t know why i bother reading this shhhiiiittsz

LOL. I grinned, smiled, and then laughed out loud to myself. Eh, Why am I bother reading something like this? This whole times, I’ve been swimming all the web and blog reading about K-Drama, K-Pop, K-Music, K-Movies non-stop 24/7. From DBSK, Wondergirl vs SNSD, Big Bang, BOA, and many more, until I get really bored to the extent that I feel myself useless. Really! I don’t understand why I keep myself reading all of those stuff. Ya! I like it! I admit it!

Actually, there was a post @soompi mentioning 117 Signs and Reasons that You’re Too Obsessed With Korean Celebs:

117 Reasons and Signs of Excessive Fandom. Signs that you have become too obsessed or have been victim of fandom obsession

BECAUSE: YOU WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE GLOBE JUST TO SEE THEM PERF. BIG BANG AND JAPAN HERE I COME.

BECAUSE: YOU BUY THEIR ALBUM REGARDLESS. EVEN IF YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND A
THING. EVEN IF IT SUCKS.

BECAUSE: YOU DON’T CARE IF THEY LIPSYNC

BECAUSE: YOU DYE YOUR HAIR AND LOSE WEIGHT BECAUSE YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST LIKES DYED HAIR AND SKINNY ANOREXIC GIRLS

BECAUSE: YOU DREAM ABOUT MARRYING THEM.

BECAUSE: YOU WRITE FANFICS ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS ( I LOVE FF BTW)

BECAUSE: YOU SPEND HOMEWORK TIME MAKING POSTERS FOR YOUR ARTIST’S UPCOMING CONCERT

BECAUSE: YOU BUY THE SAME BRANDS THAT YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS WEAR.

BECAUSE: YOU SPEND YOUR YOUTH IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER WATCHING MUSIC VIDEOS

BECAUSE: YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE COUNTRY JUST SO YOU CAN ATTEND ALL THE CONCERT DATES FOR THEIR TOURS

BECAUSE: YOU ARE WILLING TO FLY OVER TO KOREA AND ENROLL IN THE SAME UNIVERSITY AS THEM

BECAUSE: YOU ARE WILLING TO SKIP PROM AND GO SEE THEM IN CONCERT (NO PROM FOR ME THIS YEAR. HB 2008 BABY)

BECAUSE: YOU SAVE YOUR PAYCHECK FOR THOSE OVERPRICED CONCERT DVDS AND POSTERS. (THANK GOD FOR BIRTHDAYS AND CHRISTMAS HUH?)

BECAUSE: YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT SCHOOL OR STUDYING. IT’S ALL ABOUT STAYING UP LATE AND WATCHING YOUR FAV. ARTIST AT THE MKMF

BECAUSE: YOU GO TO THE SAME RESTAURANT

BECAUSE: YOU LEARN KOREAN JUST SO YOU CAN SAY “WILL YOU MARRY ME”

BECAUSE: YOU SUPPORT AND LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOU ARE WILLING TO LOSE YOUR SOCIAL LIFE

BECAUSE: JUST SEEING THEM MAKES YOU HAPPY

BECAUSE: YOU WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM

BECAUSE: YOU ARE TOO POSSESSIVE OVER DBSK, SUJU, BIG BANG AND ETC. ( HANDS OFF, DAESUNG IS MINE)

BECAUSE: YOU ARE TOO OBSESSED.

BECAUSE: YOU HAVE ARCHIVED ALL OF THEIR PERFORMANCES AND PICTURES.

BECAUSE: YOU WILL TUNE IN TO THEIR RADIO BROADCASTING EVEN IF THE TIME ZONES ARE DIFFERENT

BECAUSE: YOU STAYED UP EVERYDAY AND WATCHED THE AWARD FESTIVALS (GOOD MEMORIES MAN)

BECAUSE: YOU STAYED AWAKE FOR 24 HOURS JUST TO FINISH THEIR DRAMA (BI AND FULLHOUSE…. GOOD TIMES MAN)

BECAUSE: YOU WANT TO LIVE IN KOREA JUST SO YOU CAN SEE THEM EVERYDAY

BECAUSE: YOU ARE WILLING TO BUY TICKETS THAT ARE SOLD AT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ABOVE THE ORIGINAL VALUE JUST SO YOU CAN SEE THEM IN CONCERT.

Obviously, there were more than that! But I just quoted things that I found perfectly describe myself and funny. LOL!

But then it lead me to thinking for those (well, it could be that I’m included) “Number 1” Fan, they can turn out into something really creepy. Seriously,

Check this video from Fan-Epik High

Epik High – Fan (english) lyrics

Oh! (Even if I can’t have you)
Even if it’s only in my mind
(Even if I can’t touch you)
Even if it’s only a meaningless dream
(Even if I can’t talk to you)
Even if I hide and watch from far away
(You know I do)
I love you
(Even if you don’t know who I am)
Oh baby don’t you know, you don’t even know my name
I spend my sleepless nights gazing at you
Oh so beautiful, your solo picture clutched in my hand
The heartbreak of my crazy love buried in the cheers of the world
You’re not even listening, you wouldn’t even know if I died
Even in your next life you will live without knowing who I am
I want you so bad and it’s too late to turn back
Even tonight I want to kiss you so I clutch my pillow tight
Today is our first meeting right?
Only you have this sort of dialogue
Again today I talk to your retreating figure
It’s always the same thing but still I give a nervous hello
Even though the whole world’s stops listening, I only need you to hear me
The further you are the hardened my heart becomes, please listen to me
Farther, and farther, fortune works wherever
Will I be able to see you? (Tell me)
Oh! (Even if I can’t have you)
Even if it’s only in my mind
(Even if I can’t touch you)
Even if it’s only a meaningless dream
(Even if I can’t talk to you)
Even if I hide and watch from far away
(You know I do)
I love you
(Even if you don’t know who I am)
Darling, why are you not smiling today?
It would be nice if it was not a big problem
I couldn’t look at your face filled with anxiety
It would be better if I was in pain but the impossibility of that brings regret
Hold me, the one who could respond to your question of “how are you?”
Can’t come close, can’t touch, you’re the one I can’t hold
I’m going to go meet you tonight in my dreams
Even if in my dreams everyone ridicules my love
Even though everyone says I am crazy and the entire world disappears
Babe you belong to me, but why are the worthless multitudes talking you away?
No, there is no way. I’ll make you see only me
I’ll give you everything, I’ll make your lips meet mine, I’ll go get the world and give it to you
I’ll make it so you can never leave me, I’ll keep you in my sunken heart
You are My star, I’m your no.1 fan
Baby please, take my hand
Oh! (Even if I can’t have you)
Even if it’s only in my mind
(Even if I can’t touch you)
Even if it’s only a meaningless dream
(Even if I can’t talk to you)
Even if I hide and watch from far away
(You know I do)
I love you
(Even if you don’t know who I am)
Boys and Girls in a crazy love say oh! oh! oh!
Boys and Girls in a stupid love say oh! oh! oh!
Boys and Girls in a meaningless love say oh! oh! oh!
Boys and Girls in a love like mine say oh! oh! oh!
Even if you don’t know who I am!!

Basically this song is all about a girl who is a “number one” fan of a boy-band. She got really obsessed with the band that she decided to kidnap him so that she can have him all to herself. Eventually he tries to kill himself. This is when she realizes she cant have him all to herself and sets out to set him free in this case on the back of a huge rocket she realizes that this isnt the right way and in her hand she tries to push the button to stop it again but it doesnt work and he dies.

LOL!

I hope that I’m not those creepy fans who would like to kidnap the idol and eventually kill them without I even realized.